Pain, Anger and the Bigger Picture
The Flatpack Virgin
As you will know if you have browsed this site I have some physical problems caused by a couple of accidents at different times in my life that have led to advanced degenerative joint disease (osteo-arthritis), this I have had for many years. There have been times, as a child, that I was bed bound and in a body cast, and as an adult been almost completely immobile. The pain is pretty constant, but it can peak at times which can make life tough!
I tend to think of my body as a vehicle for my soul to ride around in and have often wondered why I have been given a bit of an old wreck! I have asked my guides many times, particularly during bad episodes “what am I supposed to learn from this?” and have had a variety of answers things like “patience, humility, compassion for others, the difference between the body and the soul” I feel that I have learned these lessons although there is always room for more learning and improvement.
However, yesterday I learned a new lesson. I purchased a flat pack cupboard for my kitchen and with the absence of someone to make it for me I decided to make it myself, this is something I have managed to avoid doing for all of my life so far! All the pieces were taken out of the box and I began the assembly, it would have been a simple task for someone more experienced, but for a ‘flatpack virgin’ like me it took 4 hours of blood, sweat and almost tears! The tears were because making such an item of furniture requires a good degree of physical effort and bending and stretching. By the time I had finished I was in so much pain I could hardly move, it was tough. My husband returned home from the office and I was hoping he might just pick up a little on how much pain I was in, but this is not his forte and instead of a hug and a ‘well done’ all I got was “It isn’t big enough”. I have written about the 5 Reiki precepts before, one of which is “Just for today I will let go of anger” I have to say I had to give myself some serious coaching to achieve this and just for a moment or two I gave way to an outburst of frustration that I took out on the dishes in the washer!
After some rest my emotions eased, but as I went off to bed I wondered how I was going to sleep with the pain levels still high. Every night when I go to bed I meditate and nothing was going to break this routine, so I got myself as comfortable as I could and began to mediate. After about 10 minutes I connected to Reiki and my guides and I threw out the question “why so much pain?” Immediately I got the answer back from my guide that has been with me for as far back into my childhood as I can remember. She told me it was to keep me grounded. This was a lightbulb moment and I fully understood, I am a very down to earth person who is practical and as I have mentioned before don’t really go in for the more ‘frilly’ aspects of some Spiritual pathways. But if I did not have the pain anchoring me to the here and now I do believe I would have a tendancy to want to spend my whole life in more of a dream state forgetting earthly things in favour of the metaphysical.
During this meditation I was guided to perform a Reiki self treatment in quite a different way to how I usually do and afterwards my physical pain had subsided significantly, I had a cup of tea and went of into a sound sleep feeling totally connected and at one with the Universe.
Sixteen years of doing this and Reiki still blows my socks off! I believe that what we are given as a human experience is there to teach us, sometimes the lessons are tough but valuable all the same.